Prayers from my journal

"Those who have left the deepest impression on this sin cursed Earth have been men and women of prayer." Dwight Moody

• I pray for Carmen that her pain heels that what she is experiencing work for her growth.
• Mom talk to me about a beating that her father gave her, that she will always remember she got hit with the branch to the point that she peed herself I pray that my mothers pain heel
• Today 1/16/2012 my younger sister Ibeth was threatened with the deportation is not just those words but the waves in emotions that it brings I pray that my sister finds her way and is able to sleep in peace
• Today Estevan told me that his co-worker who when he gets to work calls him baby or little one and then ends up screaming at him that he's not helping. I pray that he is able to find balance in his job and with this co-workers.
• Today I wonder what it is that I have with my partner Estevan. I pray that we continue in a partnership that is healthy, unselfish respectful, full of joy. I pray that it be done what our Mother La Virgen de Guadalupe has planned. 
• 1/17/2012 Carmen has been asked to stay in bed and her husband has taken on the duties of the house, she is only allowed from bed to the restroom back to bed. She will get her results of her analysis soon. Thank Soñora todo poderosa for another day of light, food and shelter.
• 1/18/2012 a prayer is like calling home, it is like an insight, going to peace, no one can disturb. I have nothing but good in my Corazon silence for the honest is peace. Silence for the wondering mind of those who feel alone can be torture. tonight I pray that I can get my classes and get the scholarship.

"I would rather work with God in the dark than go alone in the light." Mary Brainard

• I pray that I believe in myself enough to get through my graduation year. why talk about strippers- no se but I pray that we can help each other.
• Madre nuestra qur estas en el cielo. Santificado sea tu nombre venganos tu reino en la tierra como en el cielo. Agase su voluntad. Im going home. 

"We must pray for more prayers for it is the world's mightiest healing force." Frank Laubach

• Como la Universidad me Adopto. Buenos dias/ tardes. Hoy me invitaron a platicar de mi experiensia como indocumentada. Me a toda dar estas platicas deste que inicie la universidad. E aprendido mucho por medio de las presentaciones- la universidad me adopto. Enfrente el abuso de mi padre la misma persona que me enseño qie la escuela era lo mejor. 
• Señora madre ayudame a llegar a Seattle de SacTo. 
• Señor y señora you send the snow and rain you turn water into ice you blow the winds you have kept me here you have a plan for me if it's your will to let me fly on the 155 SF fly let it be so I've persisted I booked a flight five times the lady from last night got me the Oakland this morning. (Canceled) Reila got me a flight, thank her and let her know. I bet she was Polynesian. I've been checking flights and saw an 11:55 a.m. to SF which was too late at the front there was a woman (white) her dad was a Jew who was screaming and saying we were here before most of these people. I will make sure we get on that flight. I pray that they get home. As I was saying I went to customer service to get on the standby for San Francisco at 1:50 the white woman called management for clarity who affirm that absolutely no stand bys...I was able to get her to do it for me because the brown lady next to us did it without question from an Asian lady.

"Give God the blossoms of the day do not put him off with faded leaves."

"The world has been forced to its knees. Unhappilly we seldom find our way there without being beaten to it by suffering." Anne Lindbergh

"In prayer you align yourself to the purposes and power of God and he is able to do things through you he couldn't do otherwise." E Stanley Jones

• She just wanted to play and dance and she was punished for it
• Why did it have to become a game of hide-and-seek
• 2/10 to do: article on immigration woman abuse print, EVS class, MSC18 HW, read for Pan African, type paragraph for teachers and students, call tmobile, clean room cabinets, insurance home-call mom
• To do: # for printer,translate bio, Math HW, email Nora, tuition total 3311, 3200, 3286 + 25 late registration,100s Anastasia 

"Fortunate are the people whose roots are deep" Agnes Meyer

• Fortunate are the people whose roots are deep. If you know where you come from it means that someone in your life was close enough to you to communicate that history with you. But if you do not know you walk around feeling like your reality is defined by the next text message that they get. What I am saying is that to know means history of Familia was passed to you by mother or father or sister or brother a human species of your kind carry the same story. Now those who don't know: Foster and abandoned children.
• A prayer it's like calling home it's like an Insight it's peace no one can disturb. Nothing but good is in my heart. Silence for the honest is peace. Silence for the wandering mind of secretness those who feel alone silence be torture tonight I pray

"Let me tell thee, time is very precious gift of God, so precious that it's only given to us Moment by moment." Amelia Barr

• 12/30 BLM what is it going to take for brown women to protect their whom. 
• Call Tia Eli and Tio Chez
• Love we are dancing. It wasn't just us. Spirit was there, Carlos was there, plantitas verdes were there. Amor Love, with you has been like coming home, your age is a lighthouse over 5 years older than me. You're smooth walk and voice that carries sweet words of honey
• 11/25 so as we walk together as Sunrise comes and moonrise go over and over realizing that we are the leading edge of work to passion 
• dragonfly 
• Kim brought them home 
• writing children's book
• Como escribir honesta mente de ti, mi viejito bailarin
• It was coo today- i moved forward and paid my bills. And you moved forward and made food for yourself. Tea fruit to bed. 

"People need joy. Quite as much as clothing. Some of them need it far more." Margaret Graham

"Prayer means to pray with God till you are like them. If we really pray, we will become more like God, or else we will quit praying." E. M. Bounds

• 12/7 so what if Mom and Dad were in love and their fortune came from economic pain. I could see now dad's words made mom smile shy and dance. He was the protection that her body was attracted to. His white shoulders. You were in my dreams dark man with a vision of your strong arms. I can feel my spirit come complete as I allow the love of my creation to shine through- let it be the divine light that carried Mom and Dad's fluids to meet as one divine light in that because at the emotional and physical psychological level I simply don't know.
• Can I continue to declutter getting ready for my departure the funny thing is that I don't know who will be calling for my help just getting ready because that's my impulse. I walk from my small kitchen on Elizabeth Street only my writings, art and readings memories of Leo still swimming in my heart but so do Estevan and at times Jamier on and at times Jamier, all man that I love with my soul. I made that choice you see, for I see the good they left in the difficult times we went through but as I stood in my Cocina I say bless their hearts bless them and their families may as those thoughts prayers come I said I've made a choice I can only honor the beautiful parts of them and the rest is for them to heal.

"I used to pray that God would do this or that. Now I pray God will make his will known to me." Mme. Kai-shek